The Truth About Why I’m Not Coming back To The Office

A corporate high-horse might have been muttering to himself on the street recently, or you might have seen them on the news. You might have also seen them on the sidewalk. But there’s a lot of talk about people “coming back to the office.”

Polls: What do they say? No, they don’t want to. People don’t want to go back. The question is: Do their bosses want them back, or do their bosses also not want them back?

Why should we care?

The problem is collaboration and creativity, and it doesn’t work as well when you do it online. We don’t think outside the box. This means that there isn’t enough technology for us to do this. Not the same. We need to interact with each other in our lives, not with computers.

No, the problem isn’t with the cars.

It’s about the rich people. They say it’s poor people. If you know, you know.

back To The Office

In the end, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I know this:

Working From Home Did Not Kill Creativity, the Corporation Did

We talked about the weather more than half during two “brainstorming calls” this week. When we talked about whether the universe had more doors or wheels, we had a lot of fun doing it.

During a meeting about work, we somehow watched YouTube videos of animals in the wild. We talked about the fact that we don’t watch any of the TV shows our company talks about all the time.

We talked for so long that both times I picked up my laptop, went to the sofa, and sat down like I was meeting a new friend. I was.

We didn’t say it out loud, but the two of us used collaboration as an excuse to play around. We then both put a chunk of time on our calendars for brainstorming together, so we could come up with ideas together.

Managers who watch you are the second-worst thing after having an open company calendar.

The Virtual World Proved That Managers Never Had Our Attention

As often as not, my boss, who talks for almost 10 minutes straight in meetings, gives us a long list of projects, issues, and concerns and then asks us what we think about them.

She’ll speak in the kind of preppy, motivating tone that you’d expect a leader to use in a meeting room.

Someone always says one of the following:

  • So sorry, my internet went out again! 🙂
  • Um… Let me think about that for a few days. I’ll get back to you soon.
  • Who asked again?

I die in the best possible way.

We wanted to respond, even when we were at work, to say this. Even when we were in the office, it was just bad socially, and it would have been very awkward.

Now? To hide behind our cameras, we front a polite tone, and we play off each other. It’s wonderful.

back To The Office

Like You, We Are a Business

All of the polls that are being circulated miss the mark.

They’re inquiring about our preference for hybrid-style work when we’re not interested. It makes no difference what kind of tables you buy for the office because we don’t want one.

They’re asking about office socials when neither of us likes offices or socials. That’s equivalent to asking someone if they prefer vanilla or chocolate ice cream when they don’t like ice cream. The answer is no… please?

Here’s a hint:

Stop polling us on things you’ve already decided on. You are not giving your employees autonomy. You’re putting us in a position where we have no choice but to agree with your decisions.

Furthermore, even if we had more money, most of us would not do our jobs.

But I understand, you’re a business. You must function. You want to make as much money as possible while incurring as few expenses as possible. Profit should be maximized.

You would never, ever say it aloud.

You want to come across as “humane.”

We understand in a way.

So, hopefully, you’ll understand when I say that we, too, are a business. Your employees operate in much the same way that you do.

What you see on our resumes, what we say during employee check-ins, and what our fingers type into self-evaluation surveys isn’t exactly what we want. We’re probably not going to say what we want because we want to keep our jobs. For the time being.

It’s not that we don’t want to go back to work. We don’t want to work in high-functioning teams because we don’t want to. The issue isn’t about commutes or how they’ve stifled creativity. It’s not that we don’t want to put on work clothes and follow proper office etiquette.

Except it’s all of that and more.

It isn’t effortless, and we don’t have an open and honest relationship. As a result, I’m at a loss for words. But here’s what I can say. Working from home is ideal for many of us right now. That’s fine if you understand. If not, we can talk about something completely unrelated. For example, how about a raise? Or a pay increase.

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